Wear the Change You Want to See

In March, the disappearance and confirmed death of Sarah Everard shocked the UK and sparked a widespread movement in response, online and in the streets. Though the nature of the incident itself is incredibly rare, the resulting backlash has revealed the extent of everyday sexism. Now, in April, Sexual Assault Awareness Month means the surrounding discussion has remained particularly salient, while in May, the scheduled easing of lockdown means that getting dressed up and going out is no longer such an unattainable fantasy for the near future, and so there seems no better time to address the role fashion plays in sexual harassment and victim-blaming.

In a time when gender equality seems to have progressed so far, it is disappointing that a torrent of online voices have responded to Sarah Everard’s murder by critiquing her behaviour and decisions. The exhaustive measures women take to keep themselves safe — monitoring their clothing, their movement, and their behaviour — is a symptom of a dangerous and deep-rooted problem. Of course, taking precautions to keep yourself safe is an inevitable part of life. But women should not be taught that they are responsible for any harassment or abuse they receive. Far too common instances of catcalling and other verbal abuses are usually the result of the offender’s lack of self-awareness, disrespect, and are really just plain rude. Verbal abuse does not result from the victim being inappropriately dressed, ‘asking for it’, or provoking attention. Therefore, the solution lies in making offenders aware and accountable, not in teaching girls to take action to avoid being ‘provocative’. What message are you conveying when you tell someone it is their responsibility to prevent maltreatment from others? If you believe it is your responsibility to prevent abuse, then it is dangerously natural to believe it is your own fault should you experience it. It’s like teaching a toddler to wear a coat in case the weather is bad, and then, if they forget and it rains, telling them that because they weren’t wearing a coat, it’s their fault that it rained.

Illustration by the author.

There needs to be some serious bottom-up change. Men and women alike need to hold each other accountable. Friends need to call out friends. Parents need to educate children. This issue needs to be talked about. Every time a friend turns a blind eye to disrespectful, sexist behaviour, however minor, a vital opportunity for progress is missed. Tackling the severe problem of assault starts with everyday sexism being questioned and called out, an act that needs to be normalised. Holding people accountable is an act of compassion and should not need to be aggressive or confrontational. Freedom of speech is, of course, crucial, but speaking rudely or disrespectfully is just, well, rude and disrespectful.

But what has fashion got to do with sexist harassment? From my own experience, which I believe is not untypical, every one of my girlfriends has at some point felt shame or discomfort because of their clothing choices. Judgement for dressing inappropriately or provocatively is ubiquitous and insipid amongst young girls. Navigating the territory of growing up as a woman becomes treacherous when such attention and pressure is placed on your body whether you want it or not. It seems that regardless of how hard you try, there will always be someone who disapproves. So stop trying to please other people and focus on the most important judgement of all – your own. If you approve of what you’ve chosen to wear, nothing else should even figure. A pervasive consciousness of how others view you can be mercilessly suffocating, but unfortunately, it’s difficult to avoid when the cultural climate surrounding you breeds rampant and stifling beauty ideals and pressures. For change to happen, girls need to regain control of their own narratives. For every individual claiming ownership of their own fashion decisions, the power of clothing-based shame and judgement diminishes slightly. An environment of freedom in clothing choices needs to be fostered from the ground up. If girls renounce unwanted control over the way they dress and support their friends in doing the same, the shame and judgement will eventually become powerless.

So as more occasions to strut your stuff arise this summer, think twice before you slither into your silky slip dress. Question what is driving your fashion decisions. If stilettos and a shimmery slinky number is what you feel slick in, stride with pride. If you’re at your best in leggings and a low-cut top, go forth and flaunt it. If you feel most confident and comfortable in a crop top and culottes, call out anyone who tells you otherwise. You deserve to free yourself and your loved ones from the damaging grip of slut-shaming and celebrate clothes as a beautiful way to explore, experiment, and express. Wear the change you want to see!